Idealist: Things that should not happen This Day & Age

The Chinese earthquake that killed 100,000 souls in mere minutes really shook the foundations of my insular view that most people live in conditions as safe as I. A natural disaster should not have the power to kill cities of people. Why are the buildings so unsafe? Why are they so vulnerable? What is wrong with people to essentially allow this kind of stuff to happen by protracting social injustice throughout societies? Why do third-world countries exist? I would not consider foraging village societies to be third-world countries, because they have been untouched by time. They have preserved a particular way of living for generations. But the social injustice I am so irked about is that of countries that have attempted to develop, but have failed so miserably, because they have not the resources to complete their sad tries at modernizing. Like China. It is industrialized, but in the sense that everyone is exploited. So I wouldn't come close to saying industrialization has done good for China, because, look at their toxic atmosphere; people get paid squat for doing the industrial work; people still live in crappy conditions. I mean. What is this?

Another thing I don't believe should happen this day and age is Religious conversion. Why would somebody unaffiliated with Religion all of a sudden turn to it? It's not like it's coerced. We have a pretty secular government. And even when legislation is religiously-driven, they're not sponsored by the Church. So there really is no external pressure to convert. If it's internal pressure, then I really believe that the government ought to introduce some material on Evolution to be required learning for all students. And also, I am hating the increasing visibility of religious influence in the Democratic party. You know it's just for votes. I would not believe for a minute somebody as strong a politician as Hillary Clinton believes in God. If she does, my Gosh, please enlighten yourself. Broaden your mind and take a break from reading Law and policy crap.

These are signs that we are not really as advanced as we think we are in society. Where is the humanity? Where is the humanism? Where is the Curiosity? Curiosity is something I believe occurs in the absence of belief in God. When you don't do something and think, "Oh, I was 'meant' to do this. God had it all planned out." Curiosity is when we explore as if We are in charge of our future. And that is something very idealistic. It's a sense that I believe all Liberals have, that we Can make a change. That our minds have the power to come up with solutions that no God intended. We are innovative. Our genus homo are toolmakers. We have cognitive ability. We are smart and flexible in challenging social and ecological environments.

This also prompted me to think of the link between Realism and Idealism. They are inextricably linked. Idealism is a byproduct of Realism. Idealists see the reality and want to find solutions to change it; to fix it. We see social injustice and want to act on it. On the other hand, Conservatives like to run away from reality and drone out the agonized laments of the oppressed in their wealth and contentedness.

Hearing stories of Garment Industry workers makes me want to help out. Makes me want to say, "Stop. This isn't right." Capitalists versus Socialists. I get it, Nobody wants socialism. People should get what they deserve. Total Egalitarianism is not good. But on the other hand, opposing socialism does not mean that one should engage in such acts that extremely oppose total egalitarianism. Meaning, just because the hired employee should not earn as much money as the business owner, it does not mean that there should be such a discrepancy that the business owner rakes in millions, while the employee makes $30 for a 10-hour day. That is Reality. It condescendingly slaps you in the face and doesn't say Sorry. The force of the hit is so powerful that it makes you numb to the horrible Truths of Reality. And you're so knocked out, so unable to act, that you sit back and deny. You allow Injustice to run rampant.

It's so hard. It's so very hard. You can't exactly boycott design houses that contract sweat shops. But then it is only through sweatshops that living is affordable. You don't get that $10 shirt for $10, unless the person who sewed it made $.10 on it. If the person made $5.00 on it, you would probably be paying $50 for the same shirt. And then again, these workers need the sweat shop job so bad that they would get pissed if you boycotted. Boycott leads to the fashion house cutting down on jobs. And then that effect is felt to a higher degree in the Industry, where garment laborers lose their jobs. How does this end?

Identity

I guess I've been reading some stuff about cultural identity for my labor unions seminar. Something about first generation Americans having identity crises. I've never realized that I had one myself, until I began reflecting on it just recently.

I'm thinking back at my old friends. How stupid was I to hang out with these vicious girls? I guess they were not mean to me, but they were in general very nasty little girls. I never found myself agreeing with them on anything. They made fun of people, were very bullyish in conversation. It was funny, I guess, for me as a bystander. They called someone Wombat for three years. I think about it, and I was so dumb. They pressured me, telling me some pretty insulting things, that at the time, I thought were okay, so I brushed it off. They would make fun of "Chinamen" and said, "Wendy's not Asian, she's Mexican inside."

Gosh, I was such an idiot for having hung out with those mean girls for as long as I did. She told me I was her best friend. I wouldn't see why. I never felt like she was my best friend. Nominally, she was, because I was her's. But I never connected with them on the level I connect with my BFF. There was no extant pressure for me to fit in, but I felt it obligatory that I made the effort to somehow be like them. I remember for a while, they all wore Addidas sneakers. Not the running shoes. But I never asked my mom specifically for that style of shoes, because they were rather expensive. I don't like to spend any more than $20 on shoes. I don't think it's worth it. Anyways, I never asked for them. But at an outlet once, we went to Addidas. I got running shoes. Shoot, I wore those to school as if they were the casual styles. And I was thinking about that today, and I am so ashamed at how I gave into this preposterous peer pressure. It made me laugh, except I couldn't laugh out loud, because I was on Bruin Walk by myself. I think I was smiling though, and people must have thought I was a creeper.

But getting down to business, I wanted to write out what I really feel inside, in terms of my cultural identity. I have always known I was Chinese. Without doubt. That is what I am--my blood, my psyche, my lifestyle, it's all Chinese. But as a young girl, I have always led a sort of double life. One in which I am myself, when I'm with my family, and one at school, when I'm with friends. My family is where I learned my culture, so with them is also where I practice my culture. But at school, I have always felt a pressure to be American. I've definitely been a target of racism, when young ignorant children taunt "ching chong." I used to think it was funny. I used to brush it off. "Oh that's not me. I speak good English." So in order to detach myself from that negative racism, I denied myself at school. I think this had most affected me in middle school. I made non-Asian friends and refused to speak Chinese at school--actually that began in elementary school. I also wouldn't let anybody go to my house. I didn't want them to see the beautiful Chinese paintings and artifacts that my dad collects. It's so sad that in that period of my life, I didn't want to admit my culture at all.

In high school, I got rid of those "friends," and I am really loving that I did. They moved away, but eventually came back. I'm just glad I never got to hanging out with them again. I stuck to my new friends. My group of friends in high school were nice, funny and smart people. It was a beautiful friendship. And I feel like I can share with them, without getting asked ridiculously ignorant questions--which is what I felt was scaring me from coming to grips with my identity, not only with my family, but with my friends and everyone.

Also, I don't feel so much that there is a clash between cultures in my case, between Chinese and American. I always felt I had two separate disjoint identities. They never crossed or clashed. One stayed at home, and one stayed at school.

And a side note. I'm scared to tell my mom I don't believe in her religion. My parents never put pressure on us to learn anything about their (actually, my mom's) religion. But, I think that having grown up around it, my mom assumes that we believe in Kwan Yin just as she does. But I don't. And when she tells me to burn incense, and I say "Aww, no..." She kind of gets mad at me, like "Do you want the Heavens to beat your a$$?" And I'm like, how can I tell you this. I'm agnostic.

I really like the saying that an Agnostic is an Atheist with no balls. But I really don't think that the two concepts are necessarily related. Agnostics are more skeptic, because we understand the slightness of the chance that there is any knowledgeable force presiding over the Universe, we know there is no Theologian's God. But Atheists on the other hand, believe they know for sure that nothing is out there. By claiming there's NOTHING, then they are essentially saying they have all the knowledge of the Universe, and can come to such a conclusion. Therefore, I would say that I am agnostic. I'm not sure if I would ever be that confident with my mind to become an atheist. I don't believe that is a solvable problem for man.

It's really not that funny anymore

It's not funny to make crude remarks. When one really begins to study into social justice, and the lack of it in the United States, for labor groups, ethnic groups, etc... it begins to make sense why it's so rude and unfunny.

I interviewed my step-grandma. She works hard in a sewing factory. And to hear her stories, it's just not funny anymore. All these women, stuck in hard labor that pays next to nothing. The housekeepers, my gosh, look at them. They work so hard. They sustain so many injuries.

All these women accept the fact that they probably won't be able to get better jobs, because they lack skills necessary, such as unfamiliarity with computers or English. So they do they job. They do it with pride. They work hard at it and they don't complain because they know it's all they got and all they can get.

It's a way of life.