Mother's Day

Before I forget, Mother's Day 2008 was so wonderful. My first time paying (half) of dinner. It was at Saladang. Very very very nice and complete family dinner, except Sanchez was not there. Saipo, Yeej, Google, and my family. The mommies got special dessert for free at the end. We had 9 dishes for 10 people, but we finished most of it. We were good. The dishes are huge! It's just a lovely place to share food with people you love. It was rather quiet though. I think my dad was being a little shy. Or else we would have been laughing a lot more. He was rather quiet last night. He had to concentrate on eating I guess. Since he has teeth problems. His dilemma makes me wanna keep my pearly whites protected so I won't need dentures too early in life. Not that he has dentures.


By the way, Mommy's lips were red. But somehow came out pitch black in this photo.

By the way

I am really excited for the matching blog post titles. It almost solidifies our sisterhood. Anyways, I'm very happy that your mom told you to do what you want. My dad tells us that. But my mom is totally different. She used to pressure me to be a doctor. She still kind of does from time to time, but I get really irritated when she does. I think I blogged about that time during Chinese New Years, when she told my cousin, "If you knew EE was going to be so hard, how come you chose to major in it?" She was being supportive when she said that.

And then that day I hung out with you during spring break, she derailed my decision to study Anthro, even though she doesn't know what Anthro is. I got really mad, and we were not speaking that whole night. I told her to stop telling me to be a pharmacist, doctor--whatever. And I said, "How can you say to my cousin that she should've chose something easier to study, but then turn around and tell me to do something I would hate! It would be so hard to study something I don't enjoy." If that makes any sense... Catch my drift?

But anyways, her opinion means a lot to me. And it hurts me a lot that she might not be proud of what I will become after college. But really, even though I love my mother so much, I feel that I don't care to follow her expectations at all most of the time. It's sad for me--that she doesn't like my clothes and she hates buying clothes for me (that I pick out, because she thinks it's ugly) and that she doesn't support my studies, but I feel like I have gotten used to just spurning her rejection. I means a tremendous lot to me if she supports me. But if she doesn't I'll still follow my own will. I will wear my ugly clothes, and I will study Anthro and Comm. I won't be happy she's not behind my decisions. But I'm doing it for me, I guess. She'll see.

Rooting for the green

Over this weekend, I went home. I was put in a predicament, because I was assigned to be discussion leader in my fiat lux, "The Ecology of Crime," however, I did not yet receive my book from that basslard half.com man. He is supposedly on vacation, but I threatened him with three messages. I hope he gets them soon. And I hope I get my books soon!

Anyways, so I checked online to see if any regional bookstores carried the book I was supposed to read. I wanted to read really quick and just leave. Not only did that not happen, because all the bookstores suck (or probably the book sucks) and it wasn't in stock, but I just read it and it took forever, so I probably would not have been able to finish my reading material in a short enough time. So I had to rush back to UCLA today, before five p.m., so that I could get the book from the bookstore.

First thing, we had to go to Saips' house to pay respects to my grandpa. My cute mother was very proud of a paper t-shirt she had bought to burn for him. Anyways, we were on crunch time, because we got there at 12, and I had to be back by 5. In addition, before heading back to UCLA, we had to go to the phone place and get some stuff sorted out. Whatever, me, my daddy and mommy were out of that dumb phone place by 4 and got back to school at 4.30ish. And then afterward, we went out in Westwood. I loved it. Just me and mommy and daddy. I love my family to death, but honestly, who doesn't want or like that only-child experience, if only for 4 hours. So we were on a quest to find impossible Westwood street parking. And we were circling around the streets for a while. When we're stopped at a stop light, we see a car from across the street getting out. So at the intersection, we are all very nervously yelling "GREEN! GREEN! GREEN!" This happens as several cars turn into that street, near the spot that WE WERE CLAIMING. So luckily no one took the spot! But when we get there, that dumba$ sign says "Passenger loading only." But we were so animated. It was cute. And it was my favorite part of this wondrous day.

Other stuff- I took my mom to Whole Foods to get organic Golden raisins, all three of us went to DSW (where I realized exactly how deep my dad's obsession with Addidas sneakers was. He had always loyally bought Addidas, but I didn't realize it was one of those sneaker-fetishes until he saw a size 12 pair and said, "Look at this beautiful shoe! And it's only $25! They suck; they don't have my size."). I think we encountered some rude b!itches--both in animal and human form. Some woman was putting a leash on her dog, some b!tch was next to them talking on the phone, and when we passed the tight space between them, she said "'scuse me! 'scuse you!" I don't know if she was talking to us, but what a rude LA B!tch. Then after my dad got 2 pairs of shoes, I took them around walking Westwood (they were bored, they thought I was lost. I was kind of leading them nowhere, though). Then we ate Noodle Planet. Thai BBQ Chicken is yum. And pineapple fried rice. My mom ordered Red Bean Ice, but the guy didn't charge us. He forgot. His fault, not ours!

I loved today. And I also realized, that, perhaps, when I defend Angelenos against that nasty reputation that everyone's a cold detached b!tch, I'm thinking of the general population of LA County, rather than city. Because the Westside has a lot of those rich hos who are really stuck up and mean. I don't mean to use this, but they got that entitlement complex, that White Privilege thing down to a TEE. Before calling me racist, look up White Privilege; I learned it in my cluster. Blame my white professors that taught me. But you can't blame them, because they're teaching a theory that I believe exists and has consequences in reality. And for the record, I recognize that not all White people are like this premium LA breed of b!tch.

I realize that I used "perra" a lot in this post.

angst & frustration

I am so emotional right now. I am getting really annoyed by my mom.

It started when stupid me brought up that I wanted to double major in Anthro and Communications. Then she, not knowing anything about education, tries for the millionth time to try to persuade me to be a doctor. I don't understand her silly doctor fetish. I am not going to be a doctor. I have no desire, no intention to be one. Drop it. She got me so mad. She thinks that the medical field is the only safe career that makes money. That puts even more pressure on me, that I have to get rich or die trying.

First of all, no one wants to come out of school and make little money. But her unhealthy obsession with making money puts so much pressure on me. I know I will never study something I don't want to study for her, because I know that I am going to college for me. I know that I'm studying for my own career. But it hurts that she doesn't support what I want to do, even though she has no idea what I want to do. She has never asked me straightly what my aspirations are. And when she does, I never go into full detail, because she always kills my passion by trying to slip in some persuasion, trying to get me to switch my path to medicine.

I guess I understand that she worries for my future. But, I will be the first to say, that I want to live a comfortable and upper-middle class life when I get older. I am determined not to have to worry about spending when I get older. And while she thinks that, at worst, I will make 2-3K a month, my idea is that, at worst, I will be stuck in a stupid job that I have no interest in. I know I want to work in social work, most likely in Public Health, and also in magazine publishing.

My mother needs to learn to let go. She needs to learn to understand that, by this stage in her children's lives, our futures are in our own hands. Lay off. I understand why she worries about my sister, but that's not for you to know. During Chinese New Year, my cousin cried because she wasn't able to finish her homework to submit. And my mom says "If you knew it was going to be this hard, why did you choose to study this major? You should have chosen something else." When I heard her say this, I knew I had something against her, if she ever tried to get me to study something against my own conviction. So today, I got my chance to use it against her. While she was chastising me, and degrading my choice areas of study, I shot back at her. She's the one teaching my cousin the lesson, that if studying e.e. was so impossible and difficult that she should cry, then she should have chosen another study. So I contested that I was in the same situation. If I studied medicine, it would be impossible. That is completely not what I want to study. I love hard sciences, and I love learning the reasoning behind Life, but my passion is in the social sciences. If I continued on the path I was headed, hard lab sciences, I would have cried & died, I think. She was being very hypocritical in her polarized evaluations of my cousin and of me.

After that little tiff, things were a little tense and awkward. Then my sister asked if I wanted to go to the California Science Center, and I said okay, before realizing it was $20. I've been before, so I didn't need to see it again, especially for $20. So I say, never mind, I'm not going. But my sister had asked for money for me & my brother to go. So my mom asks me how much money, and I say "I'm not going, I've already been there before." And she yells at me, and says, "Why are you going again if you've already been? You think it doesn't cost money?" Geez, I don't know if she heard the first thing I said, but I got so mad. Everybody in this family thinks that I am irresponsible with money. I hate that false reputation. I only spend money on what I believe is worth my while. So I yell back to her, that "I'M NOT GOING!" But she goes out to my sister and says, "Why did you ask her to go if she's already gone?"

I swear I wanted to explode at that point. I yell back outside, saying "I said I'm not going!" She says, "Then why do you need your friend to buy tickets?" And I said, "I'm going to help her ask my friend can get her cheaper tickets!"

Then and there, I wanted to scream. I couldn't believe her.

I've always had a good relationship with my mom. I just don't understand her reasoning sometimes. I really need to discuss with her. She hardly knows anything about careers in America. She knows the electrical wholesale business. And construction, perhaps. But otherwise, she is clueless. She thinks that only doctors make money. Bugs the 1134 out of me.

PS I hate most doctors. Most of them are in it for the money, rather than to "help their patients." I also hate most cops, because they are corrupt. But I hold genuine respect for most fire fighters, because they actually go out there to risk their lives to save people.